F*** Work!'s topics - tribe.net

Survival Without Work??

Lou_Danger — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 00:00:03 GMT

Does anyone know how I can make like $60,000/year without having to put forth much effort??

I want to just be a housewife, but I can't...

Any ideas are appreciated, no matter how ridiculous or obvious they may seem!

posted in F*** Work! - 3 replies

Work haiku

Diana — Tue, 06 Sep 2005 02:17:43 GMT

C'mon, I know you guys can do better. Just to start, though...

trade life for small change
my coworker is dribbling
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. fuck!

is it 3-5-3 or 5-7-5? I can't remember.

drug testing so sucks.
Sure! take my private time, too!
and yet, I still pee.

posted in F*** Work! - 1 reply

WORK: ....

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 13:16:43 GMT

The OLDEST most dehumanizing effort to control the masses.

I think we should stop working everday. and start living! While working on the weekends.

How's that? :)

~manuel

posted in F*** Work! - 1 reply

Worst job you ever had?

Diana — Thu, 29 Jan 2004 03:17:41 GMT

There have been so many...

posted in F*** Work! - 18 replies

i'm a noob...

beensnoozin — Mon, 14 Feb 2005 03:34:26 GMT

an angry noob, looking for a workplace terrorism specialist. I work with two bitches at a department store who are trying to get me fired and get my job.... and I'm looking for a way to shut them down with pizazz. Is there anyone out there with some experience on this front?

posted in F*** Work! - 2 replies

Bored at work!!

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 22:50:30 GMT

Ok so here i am, sitting on my ass and looked at the clock. Ya know what i notice? It's not moving!!!!!! it's gonna be forever before it hits 5pm!!!! Someone please help me pass the time

posted in F*** Work! - 3 replies

Work bad - Poetry GOOD!

jsnmatson2005 — Fri, 10 Dec 2004 21:28:26 GMT

Why work, when you can be a starving poet on the edge of contemporary society! LIKE ME!

Join my new Comedy Poetry tribe at http://seattle.tribe.net/tribe/7f2e929a-cf1d-4c50-b14b-eb0b943d59c1?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Tribe%5B7f2e929a-cf1d-4c50-b14b-eb0b943d59c1%5D&r=10302

posted in F*** Work! - 6 replies

Kill your coworkers!

¿Jethrobot? — Thu, 18 Nov 2004 17:03:48 GMT

Allright, don't REALLY kill your coworkers, but you can use this weird game to help you fantasize about it.

www.sidetraked.com/index.php?cmd=media&id=63

posted in F*** Work! - 1 reply

Giving 100% At Work

"TAZ" Diane — Fri, 08 Oct 2004 18:00:00 GMT

Giving !00% At Work:

Give 12% on mondays
Give 23% on Tuesdays
Give 40% on Wednesdays
Give 20% on Thursdays
Give 5% on Fridays
And Above all Remember:

When you are having a really bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off.
Remember it takes 42 Muscles to frown and it only takes 4 muscles to extend your finger to flip them off!

:-) :-)

posted in F*** Work! - 0 replies

Interesting.....

PattyKimball — Sat, 02 Oct 2004 02:34:23 GMT

I'm working

....On quitting my job !!!

www.acninfo.com/Pat_Kimball

posted in F*** Work! - 3 replies

NOT WORKING???

MADMARK ™ — Thu, 03 Jun 2004 16:35:48 GMT

Then you should have time to spare,,,Where the fuck is everybody????

posted in F*** Work! - 9 replies

market research

seminar — Sat, 10 Jul 2004 21:09:00 GMT

my job sucks. I have to sit in a cube calling backwoods toothless hicks about politics. It's cool to have money
but dammit, my mind gets sucked right thru the rad
headset.

posted in F*** Work! - 8 replies

the upside

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 22:57:39 GMT

Work was *great* today. Some dumbass rich customer of ours left a little bit of cash in his pockets. When we find money our boss always tells us its up to us if we want to return it or not. So me and a coworker discussed it and we're going to be asshole and keep it. It really is all about the Benjamins. ::flexes::

posted in F*** Work! - 0 replies

Fuck the people I work with!

¿Jethrobot? — Thu, 22 Apr 2004 22:15:59 GMT

http://www.anothersite.co.uk/news.php?artc=52

Thought you all might like this.

posted in F*** Work! - 2 replies

workplace lingo

toddbaker — Sun, 04 Apr 2004 21:56:43 GMT

Employer's Lingo:

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

Employee's Lingo:

"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:"
I've used Microsoft Office.

"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE"
I pilfer office supplies.

"MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES"
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.

"I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK"
I blame others for my mistakes.

"I'M PERSONABLE"
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.

"I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL"
I carry a Day-Timer.

"I AM ADAPTABLE"
I've changed jobs a lot.

"I AM ON THE GO"
I'm never at my desk.

"I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED"
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.

posted in F*** Work! - 12 replies

Fuck Work Picture

¿Jethrobot? — Wed, 04 Feb 2004 21:38:29 GMT

Doesn't anybody have a picture we can use indicative of the fuck work attitude?

posted in F*** Work! - 3 replies

I am enjoying these discussions, but may have to take f*** work off of my profile

leawenthome — Sun, 01 Feb 2004 07:43:10 GMT

I find myself in the surprising position of liking my job and being paid possibly more than I deserve.

posted in F*** Work! - 6 replies

Pretending to work...

Diana — Wed, 28 Jan 2004 23:43:51 GMT

Gee, Geoff, thanks for making this forum. It already rawks!
I am usually an expemplary worker, but sometimes you just have to show up and, you know, for some reason you won't or just can't work (well-hung over, heart broken, dislike of work, sheer perversity). I used to work painting barns with these old perpetually drunk painters. One told me the secret of "in every house that has a basement, there are stairs to the basement. You can set up like you are paintng under the stairs and sleep...whoever comes down the stairs will wake you up tromping"
What is the best or most blatant pretending to work that you have ever gotten away with? Or, what's the most outrageous thing you have ever gotten away with while pretending to work?

posted in F*** Work! - 9 replies

Not F****king working now

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 00:29:15 GMT

My profession is Chef but was currently a server. Now out of work. Love the time-hate the lack of money. But the funniest job I ever had was OSU Fawcett Center. I was Sous Chef and had ppl who didn't want to work. One woman didn't want to make the last 50 salads for a banquet so she staged a fall. One reason I knew it was fake is because she fell on her left side but came up holding the right side is agony. Nice try. So I thought I'd add insult to (fake) injury and make her fill out an accident report. She would not because...she couldn't read. And she said if she didn't leave her boyfriend would get mad. Damn, you can't fight the mad boyfriend ploy. I let her go. Oh, and when I was 18-back in 1985, I worked at Wendy's for 4 hours. I still have an unclaimed paycheck for $14.56. Should I get it?

posted in F*** Work! - 2 replies