we have 1000's of years of brainwashing on this planet where women were sex slaves and men were soldiers...

one mental+emotional circuit of the brainwashing for women is:
who do i have to fuck around here to get some food?!?
and actually, who do i have to fuck to simply get my basic needs met... like safety, comfort, positive attention, recognition, dialogue, intellectual stimulation, etc...

some people are pushed so low energetically and emotionally, that the first chakra (red) may appear where the third eye is. at that point SURVIVAL is their orientation and SEXUALITY is the highest form of expression.

there are those parts of us that may have been pushed even lower, due to trauma for example, that go off the chakric map altogether... that emotional body HAS NO LIGHT, no source of info, no direction, no goal... just sheer bottled up force... all it wants is ESCPAE...

sex is no longer fun... it's a commodity of exchange. and even worse, kids are then used as pawns of manipulative survival games.

we've all done it for many lifetimes... no need to beat ourselves up for it now... we did what we thought we had to to survive... we left a trail of corpses behind us... NOW we don't have to do that anymore.

that energetic/emotional body that is stuck in 'hell realms' will feel like a destructive power that's threatening to explode all the time, like you're held hostage by it... it might feel satanic, demonic, unseemly. Repressed creativity looks that way while it's rejected and unloved; after release, and acceptance it turns out to be quite positive and beautiful!

we are very successfully brainwashed to give our power to make our life decisions for us to someone 'bigger' ... by our parents. which is why it's hard for us to imagine any other way to live...
if you can heal from the brainwashing that you have to be a puppet or sex slave to a man or woman to be given safety and security from him or her... it will be very EMPOWERING for you.

you can get your own stuff. you can generate the feeling of security by YOURSELF... as a matter of fact for YOU it can only come from you... it won't come from other people.

as long as you feel consciously or unconsciously as a victim who has been pushed into something you didn't sign up for (like this lifetime on this physical plane of reality)... you won't feel like your life is your chunk of clay to create whatever you want with.

once you actually feel OK to exist here, you might WANT to do some work to clean this place up... and you'll have the power and a new set of tools to do it, that you didn't have for a long long time... like a sense of SELF :)